DO NOT BUY FROM ROCKBANDPARTS.COM

.com

So, my son found this site ROCKBANDPARTS.COM in May and it was advertising RockBand 2 drumsets for $24.99 each. Sounds great yeah? So, since Dakota literally destroys a set every 4 months or so cuz he's fucking, brilliantly insane on the drums - I ordered him 2 sets on May 18th. I then proceeded to NOT HEAR OR RECEIVE ANYTHING from ROCKBANDPARTS.COM except - FOUR TIMES over the next 2 months I received auto-generated emails thanking me for my purchase and informing me that the drumsets would be shipped within 24-48 hours after my purchase. I received these emails up to TWO MONTHS AFTER I had made my purchase. All my email contact to ROCKBANDPARTS.COMwent unanswered. No drums were ever received. Thankfully, I paid via Paypal. I was able to file a dispute to which ROCKBANDPARTS.COM then proceeded to refuse to repond to Paypal's contact as well. So, I escalated my dispute to a claim and, big shocker, ROCKBANDPARTS.COM still refused to respond to Paypal's contact. SOOOOO - after two months of getting sporadic auto-generated email, waiting for paid-for drumsets that were never to come and waiting thru Paypal's steps - Paypal finally refunded my money last week and I STILL have not received ANY response from ROCKBANDPARTS.COM and surprisingly, my not-so-nice "testimonial" I sent for this link on their website:

(Yeah - they actually have the picture above listed on their site)

was NEVER published. SHOCKER!! I wonder how many other unhappy customers didn't get their comments published either? I wonder just how many published comments were actually from REAL customers? So here is a WARNING to everyone out there who is tempted to purchase anything from ROCKBANDPARTS.COM: DO NOT - I REPEAT - DO NOT ORDER/BUY ANYTHING FROM THIS SITE!!!!

(credit to mykidsmightbemartians for giving me the idea to PROMOTE this site on my blog - Thx Sissy!)

YOGURT!!

Okay, so my last blog entry was about 5 year ago so I thought I'd jump back in and blog about...YOGURT! Why not right? I have a trillion stories and other shit I need to blog about but lets start with something simple. Have y'all (I'm an undercover redneck - shhhhh!) tried Yoplait's Raspberry Cheesecake? This is the BEST yogurt in the WORLD! In the world I tell ya! So, I decided last month that I needed to go an a all day shopping spree diet. Yep, I said the forbidden word. I now weigh 10 50lbs more than I did 6 years ago. How the hell?! 

Okay, the short, fast story is that I DID go through hell in those 6 years but I made it through - so what the hell?   It was only a year of domestic violence by a fucking crazy-ass unbalanced psycho (thank God now EX)husband with PTSD, a 1200 mile move, introduction to single parent with no child support from the fucking crazy ass unbalanced psycho intro to the working world with absolutely NO work experience or skills & a high-school education, going through 3 jobs that paid minimum wage which was not enough to support my kids when I had no help from the fucking crazy ass unbalanced psycho DBD, a daughter who suddenly decided to turn her head 360 degree's and projectile vomit on me on a daily basis because she hit her teens and health issues, that because of no insurance, physically laid me up for 6 months - which I'm sure most of the weigh came from but that ended a year ago so what the hell? Its already been a year! 

An entire year since I sat down, made as much sense of my life as I could, decided to take charge, quit my minimum wage jobs, sick my attorney on DBD (we are just waiting for a court date - my motion to throw his ass in jail, along with other stuff, is all filed complete with a big red bow!) and register for college. That is something I never though I would be able to do and yes it is confusing figuring out what to do and when to do it with the placement tests, registration, advising, financial aide but I did it and with financial aid, school loans and my son's monthly ssi; I am able to support my kids 100% on my own for the first time in my life. No help from the fucking crazy ass unbalanced psycho DBD and no loans from my parents. My health problems are under control with the new doctor I got once I found health insurance; which was also a big obstacle I overcame. DBD's freedom is counting down because, after reading the my attorney filed, it would shock the shit out of me if the Judge didn't throw his ass in jail right then and there. I am half way through my 4th term in college. I am now a college sophomore with all A's & B's. And my daughter has outgrown the evil-teenage-girl-syndrome of which she was required to act like the fucking devil's spawn and is returning to the little girl I used to know and love! The world is a wonderful place again!

So, again I say: WHAT THE HELL? Normal life resumed a year ago - whats with the pounds??!! So, anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah - yogurt. So, a few months ago I decided I had better do something because these pounds obviously were not going away on their own so for the last couple months I have ate nothing but yogurt, granola and salad with low fat dressing. I will also have an apple, orange, plum or grapes for snacks and occasionally rice cakes or a veggie delite pizza's from Papa Murphy's (you HAVE to try those!) and those Sobe Lifewaters? They are awesome! So, BIG change in my eating habits and I also started going jogging everyday/every-other day. Anywhere between 4-8 miles each time. AND I'M NOT LOSING ANY WEIGHT! What the hell?! I don't have a scale but I can tell because my clothes fit exactly the same, in not (and here's the kicker) TIGHTER! I'm starting to think the raspberry cheesecake yogurt is not all that great! I'm eating like ZERO fat and jogging miles and miles and I am still the same! What am I doing wrong? Anybody?

Em.

School's Out For Summer!!

Okay; not yet.

 I still have 2 classes tomorrow. 

And 3 finals next week. 

But after that - 

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!!

Okay; not for summer since I am attending summer session. 

Full-time.

 But I'm finished with my first year!!

:)

THURSDAY FIVE

It's that crazy day again..Thursday..and I have to admit..it's a pretty good day..it's almost as good as Friday!

What makes it even better is that it's Thursday Five..Where we get to look back on our week and and come up with 5 things that have made us..

Happy

Joyful

Excited

Jubilant

Grateful

Whatever you want..just no bad stuff..

Some weeks are harder..and we might have to dig deeper..but I 
guarantee you will find 5 things!

My Five..

1.) My (step) son called me on Tuesday to tell me he is moving in with me

(he lives in another state) next month. He turns 18 

(so his piece of shit bio-parents cant do anything about it this time) 

next month and graduates 5 days after that so as soon as his graduation 

 ceremony is over - he is mine!

2.) My son's social security payments resumed this week. Yay! 

None too soon either since DBD is now unemployed. (I hope those free 

drinks you gave your friends was worth it)!

3.) My mom's birthday was yesterday and she is now 

almost 60 I think. 

With all of her health problems; I'm very happy that she 

is still with us.

4.) Got all my papers, documents, print-outs, etc...together and out to 

my attorney on Monday. Yippee! That was the most stress I've had in a year. 

I'm super happy that it is over; my attorney takes over from here. 

(Watch out DBD; he's coming after you!)  :) 

5.) Raye got back with Blue yesterday. I think I forgot to blog last week 

about how they broke up AGAIN. I can't keep this shit straight. I am 

far from happy about this little reconciliation but seeing my daughter 

happy helps. So, my #5 is seeing my daughter happy again.

**Did you enjoy this post? Do you want to play along? 

Go to MannLand5 and write your own, and link up!

L O S T - UPDATED

Just spent the last 4-1/2 hours with this damn show. Sneaking in spanish homework during commercials and spent the last hour of the show bawling my eyes out. Not because I'm so damn sad that the show is ending but because it was so damn emotional. I like the way they ended it. It made everything that has happened over the last six years acceptable. And actually - if anyone remembers - Richard actually told us this, that everyone was dead, a few episodes ago. I don't think anyone believed him though. Here's what I want to know though - this is my question - where were all the darma, other's and freigter people? How come they weren't in the church? Are they dead too? Desmond and Penny weren't on the plane and they were in the church so where were these guys? Juliette, Faraday & his mother weren't on the plane either. Why are they there? Even Ben was there. And where was the pilot guy? And where was Michael? And Vincent? Why was Richard leaving the island? And who belongs to that damn shoe? I gotta go to bed!

UPDATE: Okay I am very confused at something. Did they all die in the plane crash - just hours and minutes apart - making them all die at different times - and then once they died then they lived that alternate reality until they remembered they were dead? Or did they survive the plane crash but never get rescued so they all died on the island at different times and then experienced their alternate reality lives until they remembered everything that happened on the island and then once they remembered they went to the church and waited for everyone else to get there? So then the Oceanic 6 never really left the island? Everything that happened to the Oceanic 6 never really happened? Kate never really raised Aaron? Sun never really had her baby? Sayid never really went on a killing spree? Ben never really killed Locke? And why was Penny in the church? When the heck did she die? And where did Penny come from anyway? If the Oceanic 6 never really left the island so nothing that happened after being not-rescued happened - then where did Penny even come from?? Where is the plane that pilot guy, Richard, Miles, Kate, Sawyer and Claire, were on - going? I guess I'm asking - did anyone survive the initial plane crash? Or did everything that happened after the plane crash not really happen? But I really want to know why Penny and Juliette were in the Church! And why was Ben Linus there? Where was Michael? I think the ending was awesome though. When Jack was lying there with Vincent; I thought the show was gonna come full circle. I thought he was going to get up and see the crashed plane and all the survivers walking around and that everything was going to play out all over again but I think ending the show with Jack's eye closing after beginning the show with his eye opening was brilliant. I've never, ever cried during an episode of LOST and I was crying like a fricken baby all through the episode. But seriously - WHY WERE PENNY, Desmond & JULIETTE IN THE CHURCH????

Timothy

 ~~ Me & Timothy ~~

I have previously blogged about my little brother Timothy. He died 2 months before his 2nd birthday; when I was 18. I found this website:  continulife.com through another blogger: Jenn Sue Wild 
over at: http://lipstickandlaundry.blogspot.com/. Jenn created a memorial for her son, William. So I opened my own account at continulife.com to create a memorial for Timothy - to give to my Mother.

Timothy died 20 years ago today.  Every year, on this day, I do something special for my Mother to let her know that I'm thinking about her and that I haven't forgotten Timothy. For the first 10 years after Timothy died, I sent her a card on May 21st. I never mentioned Timothy in the card - but she always knew anyway. It was just a "I'm think about you" kind of card and telling her I loved her. After 10 years I stopped doing that and just called her on the phone to tell her I loved her or did something else for her. Last year I attached fake flowers to pens using green fabric tape and then put them in a short glass vase filled with rocks and gave it to her. It looked kind of like this one:

...and this year I'm giving her this website: Timothy. Please click the link and let me know what you think and please feel free to leave a Rose for Timothy.

Dear speaker-box makers:

Why is it that, in all the advance technology in this day in age where one can video-chat live with people 6,000,000,000,000 miles away from them and where one's cellular phone can do everything except wash their dishes ~ why then, when I pull up to a fast food drive-thru, why am I STILL ordering thru a broken speaker that has been in place for 50 years? That neither me nor the order taker can hear a damn thing the other is saying??!! Hello shitty-speaker-box-makers ~ do you not know its 2010? Why am I still trying to order out of a crackle-y, broken, pray-they-heard-you-right speaker-box?!?!

HOW DBD BECAME DBD. PART ONE.

Since I am using this blog for my Psychology final, and we are studying PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) I am going to blog about DBD. I haven‘t really written about my ex-hubby aka DBD and how he came to be my ex-hubby aka DBD. DBD is also an ex-military guy. Can’t say what branch. But don’t worry - they are all equally fucked up. I am all for respectin’, shakin’ hands, pats’ on shoulders, given credit where its due, etc…respect all around for those who are responsible for my freedom. But, with that honor comes responsibility. And when these guys return and don’t follow thru with their responsibilities; making MY (and thousands of others) children sacrifice the family they were entitled to grow up in - well, that just pissed me right off. My children (and thousands of others) are not of age to give consent to give up the lives that they were entitled to have - for our country; but that’s exactly what all 3 of them did and yes - this subject PISSES ME RIGHT OFF - so to those that are offended, well, its MY story, MY opinion and its MY blog so with that warning; continue reading at your own risk:

This government, the U.S. government, doesn’t give two shits about returning veterans or what happens to their families. Once your home and your contracts are up - that door opens and they literally kick you in the ass out it. Or they Stop-Loss you for 2 more years, fuck you up, and then kick your ass out the door. They don’t want Christmas Cards, your forwarding address, return visits, nothing. They are DONE with you. Goodbye, adios, farewell, see ya. They do not care about the thousands of U.S. children (and spouses, friends and family members) of these returning combat-veterans that have suffered and are still suffering so that another country can benefit. Don’t get me wrong. I am all for hanging that fucking bastard Suddam by his balls. But NOT at the expense of U.S families. NOT at the expense of MY family. NOT if it means that my children have now lost the privilege of growing up in a two-parent household with a father who loves them. That shit just pisses me right off because my children NEVER HAD A CHOICE. Wow - I am getting WAY off topic. This subject does that to me - I can feel my blood pressure rising. I think I need a time out - this is just as bad as when I wrote my essay last term about George W. Bush - yeah, he gets my blood boiling. Luckily for me, my English Professor is a Democrat - I got an “A”.

But where was I? Oh, yeah - why DBD is a DBD. We had been married for 8 years when he was sent over to Iraq. His unit was one of the first ones over - before Bush declared the war he INTENDED to start when he took office. DBD chilled in Kuwait for about a month before his unit was ORDERED to invade. He was one of those veterans who were NOT there for rebuilding. He was NOT there to ask questions. Not there to keep peace and order. He was there in the beginning. He was there to shoot to KILL; fuck the questions. Men, women, CHILDREN. Hard to believe how so many combat-veterans came back fucked up eh? DBD's unit was among those first in Baghdad. I remember Violet waking me up in the middle of the night and her, Raye and I watched the military help the Iraqi citizens knock over the statue of Saddam. DBD was there. His unit lost only 1 man. The press reported it as killed in battle but that’s not what happened. 75% of what the press reported was NOT what happened. There is so much COVER-UP that I’m not sure if the story-tellers can keep their stories straight. The man they lost was run over by their own hummer. In his sleeping bag. While he slept. Makes me wonder how many men & women we lost to our own. Knowing that just makes that war even less understandable to me. DBD was over there for about 5 months. His unit was shipped home after the invasion while other units were shipped over to rebuild. He was infantry. His job was to invade and kill; not rebuild. 

He was fine when he returned. At first. But just how is a person “fine” after that? How do you shoot a child and just be “fine”? I do NOT blame him for not being “fine”. I can’t imagine what he saw. What he did. He went to the VA for help. He was diagnosed with PTSD. He was assigned therapy and prescribed medication that he said made him feel like a “robot” so he stopped taking it. Then we started receiving bills for his therapy. Treatment is suppose to be free to veterans but when we couldn’t pay. They wouldn’t help. That’s when the trouble began. The anger. The violence. The drinking. The gambling. The arrests. The inability to care. About anyone. I became the enemy. I didn’t even recognize my own husband anymore. So now - my children are growing up in a broken home. Without a father. DBD lost his children, his wife, his home, his truck and just last month - his job. Yep - I think that’s what they call “rock bottom”. All so the people of Iraq could be free. Yes. it’s a great cause. But NOT at the expense of my children...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME and Materialistic, Attitudey, Ungrateful Cars.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME...HAPPY BIRTHDAY...you get the picture...

Okay, so its not my birthday. My birthday was yesterday but I forgot. Oops. Why anyone in their right mind would still acknowledge their birthday when they get to my age - I'll never know. But hey - who ever said I was in my right mind??

I blogged before that I was using my blog as my Psychology Journal so sometimes I'm just bloggin' about my day...

...LIKE TODAY...

...now I know what it is like to be stranded, at 7am, in my jammies, without my wallet, on the side of the road, because that is as far as I could coast, when my new car, who is apparently all materialistic and obviously NOT a morning-person morning-car, refuses to accept nice comments and bi-weekly washes, to get me safely to my destinations. You would think it would be happy with all that. Right? WRONG. My car wants gasoline too! Can you believe this shit? Some cars just are never happy. So, after my son HAD to walk the rest of the way to school - even though he suffers from the surprisingly contagious "my legs are broken and I can't walk to school but I have no problem walking to my friend's house" syndrome...and yes, he miraculously made it to school, after my daughter had to come rescue me with my debit card that wouldn't work (and there WAS money in there - I'm telling the TRUTH!) and then after my Mommy had to come rescue me with HER debit card (hers worked) - I finally made it back home, 2 hours later, from my whopping .5 mile destination. And all this WITHOUT coffee. And how was YOUR morning??

Wordless Wednesday ~ Social Parade

http://www.painfoundation.org/learn/programs/fibromyalgia/national-fad.html

(thanks to Misty for the Fibromyalgia link. Please visit Misty's Musings)

 

Click the Button Below!

Mejis I need cheered up ~ where are you with one of your funny stories??

Okay, bEAr with me (haha ..."bear" with me...get it?? okay) this is a crazy-long rant. I am in a seriously crappy mood. I just feel like crying. My aunt, my mother's sister, is 52 and just recently moved back to our home state, and in with her elderly father, after losing her job over health problems and subsequently losing her home that she owned. She has lived in Las Vegas for the last 30 years. I was the only one in our family to follow her there and Las Vegas is where I met DBD and where my kids grew up - so my kids and I are closer to her than the rest of the family who only saw her on vacations. Along with her home she had to get rid of most of her furniture, decorations, etc...and only has a few boxes of stuff in her father's basement along with the 5 cats that came with her and her SUV that she bought last year. Since she's been here (almost a year) she has had to put one cat to sleep and another cat lives at my house; that leaves her with 3. My point being that she's losing everything bit by bit. She's filed for Social Security but was denied and is waiting on the appeal hearing - at LEAST one year from now so she has NO current or any foreseeable income. She could get a part-time job (that is allowed when applying for SS) but chooses not to. She says she can't work because she hurts too much. Yes, she does hurt but she takes medication for it and I think a lot of it is depression. My mother (her sister) has been loaning her money to pay her car payment and bills but she can no longer do that. She lives, rent free, with my grandad but she has no money, and no way to - pay her car payment, insurance or cell phone anymore since my mom stopped giving her money. These are the only bills she has. She got a sizable income tax check back earlier this year but she's blown through it. I sympathize with what she is going through because when I moved back home after my divorce 3 years ago - I had to leave everything behind too (my house, my truck, MY DOG, my furniture, appliances, etc...DBD kept it all) and I had to start all over. No money, no household items - just me, my kids and my van. So, I know how she feels but, like my daughter said (and it made me feel so good to know that my daughter recognizes and appreciates the way I got myself back together) I lost everything too and I bounced back. I did what I had to do instead of dwelling on what I'd lost. So, I have recently come into some money as I have already blogged about - money owed to me - and I was looking to buy a new car. Since Violet (my aunt) had no way to make her car payments and was going to end up loosing her SUV - I offered to take over the payments and GIVE her my van so she would at least have a vehicle. That's way more than a finance company/bank would have done. They'd have repo'd the car, left her with nothing, and still sent her a bill! I thought this would at least help her and I even offered to sell it back to her after (if) she wins her case, as well as give her an additional $2,000.

So, lets recap: a free van, $2,000 and the option to buy it back. You would think she'd be grateful right? Wrong. Everyday since I traded her my van and took her SUV (and have already made May's payment because she doesn't have the money to pay it) I have heard about what a "piece of shit" the van is, how she hates not having power windows, hates the sliding door, hates having to lock the doors one by one, thinks it over-heating, hates having a car that she has to worry about repairs on, and on and on and on. Like she doesn't realize that she's lucky she had someone to take over her SUV and give her a car. Like she's lucky she doesn't have to walk or ride the bus. Not to mention that if she hates the van so much (and it is NOT a piece of shit. It is a very nice van and there are a million cars out there that are worse. She's just used to driving a new, everything automatic and 7 years free maintenance car) why didn't she get a part-time job working just enough hours to pay the car payment?.........

My mom said give her the car back and let it be repo'd and it would be her problem that she didn't have a car. Not to mention that my mom has SERIOUS health problems and takes medication everyday in order to work. My mom has chronic pain (as does Violet) among other things and she still works everyday. I, as well, have heath problems to which I depend on medication in order to work. Raye said that Grandma and I are able to work everyday with our health problems so why can't Violet? That's a very good question. Why can't Violet? Because she doesn't want to. She wants everyone else to support her. Raye told me that she is angry about that because her and Dakota are my responsibilities and my money is for them; not her. She's right. On top of that, Violet doesn't think she should have to pay my mom (her sister) back for the 8 months my mom paid all her bills. I wonder if she realizes how ungrateful she sounds. I know she's depressed. I know she lost everything. But I was depressed after my divorce. I lost everything (well, everything material. I got what I wanted: my kids) too but I didn't sit in my house (or my father's house) and whine about it and have everyone else pay my bills! Grrrrrr! It just pisses me off that instead of saying "thank you for giving me a car, thank you for taking over payments so my car doesn't get repo'd, thank you for being willing to sell it back to me, thank you for buying my food, clothes and toiletries for the last 6 months (which I have been doing)" I'm told how much my (I guess its her's now) van is a piece of shit.

Teenagers!

Raye is back with Blue. I knew she was being over-dramatic but she is a teenager. Blue came crawling back. Literally. He was agreeing to anything and everything to get Raye back. I told her that all these "rules" she's laying down for him (and boy is she laying down a lot of them!) go both ways and that she is not the "boss" in the relationship; there is no "boss", a relationship is give and take. A lot happened in the week or two that they have been broken-up. Blue went to Prom with his buddies and w/o Raye. Raye missed Prom Thankfully it was only her Jr. Prom. If she was a Senior; I would have dressed her and driven her there myself. No way was she missing Prom because of a high-school boyfriend! Even if she couldn't see it - I knew she'd wish she'd gone. She missed 75% of school in that 2 weeks cuz she was too upset to go or came home upset. Breaking up definitely had a negative impact on her grades/attendance. The last 2 weeks have taken a toll on me too. Its hard seeing your daughter act like the world is over. I told her she's only 17; he's just a high-school boyfriend. She told me that she was in love with him though. I don't know - do you really know what "in love" is at 17? This last week after talking to me & one of her teachers, Raye decided that she was better off w/o Blue and started to cheer up. Raye also told me, she realized that Blue didn't treat her very well, never stood up for her, put his friends before her, sometimes didn't talk nicely to her, etc; she just realized she wasn't very happy in the relationship. That made me kind of angry cuz I didn't know all this but happy that she realized it wasn't right and she was better off. Well, I guess "cheered-up Raye" bothered her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/boyfriend/ex-boyfriend because he started trying to talk to her, calling her, texting her to the point that she asked me to call him and tell him she didn't want to talk to him, which I did, and he didn't call/text anymore - that night anyway. He didn't give up though, constantly asking her for another chance, that he realized he made a mistake, can he have just 10 minutes to talk to her. Raye wasn't going to but I told her to give him the 10 minutes. I told her she'd regret it if she didn't because after awhile, he will probably give up and move on and that would be just about the time she'd realize she wanted to be with him and by that time; it would be too late - that advice was from experience. So, 10 minutes later, he was walking in our door. Raye laid down the law and I mean LAID DOWN THE LAW - you can do this, you can't do that, etc...and he agreed to it all. So, I am glad that the "we're broken up" period is over because it was so exhausting - for me! I'm amazed I survived!

Wordless Wednesday ~ Oops ... I mean FRIDAY

I want this license plate for my car!

Went to my niece Marie's 3rd birthday party yesterday. Made Raye & Dakota go too. Marie's dad (my brother) and I hadn't been on speaking terms, prior to last week, for almost 2 years so I haven't gotten to see her very much. It was a nice family get-together. Dakota didn't complain too much about not getting to stay at home instead.

I don't think I have blogged this but I am using my blog as my journal that I am suppose to be keeping for my Psychology final. I'm going to print out my blog and bind it. So, on some days I am just going to blog about my day; nothing really exciting. After class today I get to pick up the kids from school and study espanol and criminal justice all night! Fun, fun, fun!!

Is it Sunday already??

Three. Not one. Not two. Three.

What do you do when your 17 year old daughter sends you a text message asking you to pick up three PREGNANCY TESTS for her??

My Darling Raye

Dear Blogland,

My daughter is 17 and just broke up with her boyfriend of 6 months. I guess he was the breaker-uper; I’m not sure since I think they've broken up 20 times in the last week. But now her world is over. She’s crying her eyes out - that anxiety cry where you hyperventilate. And there isn’t anything I can do. She won’t talk to me. She won’t let me comfort her. Its the worst feeling in the world to have your child crying so hard she can't breath, right in front on you, and she won't let you hold her and there isn't anything you can do. Anyone out there in blogland have any advice??

Then I guess after her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/boyfriend/ex-boyfriend left, he went and got wasted, punched a window and then broke his collar bone trying to ride his dirt bike drunk. He said he did that because she was “mad” at him. Why to teenagers always over-react? They used to be so cute together. He just turned 19 but I swear he does not look a day over 12. (Yes. I said TWELVE). I made him show me his drivers license because I didn't believe him. He has never even shaved and Raye was his very first girlfriend. But, Raye has an anger problem, as you all know, and blew up in front of him (not AT him; IN FRONT OF him) (threw her cell phone across the cafeteria; yep, it broke) and he got tired (or scared of!) it and broke up with her for a minute. Then she did it again (yelled at the principal to “fuck off”) and he did it again. Now I don’t know what they are doing and I don’t think they know either! At least the kid got Raye to agree to go to anger-management. That’s more than I could do! But then he goes all window-punching? And Raye has the anger problem?? I just don't know what to do. She has missed about 5 days from school in the last 2 weeks because she either is so upset that she can't go or she gets so upset at school she has to come home early. I told her last night that school is more important than Blue and she is not missing any more school! She said that's what DBD (well she didn't say "DBD"; she said "dad" but, well, you know...) said too. Well, for once I can agree with DBD (I guess I should write the date down because I'm willing to bet it will never happen again!).

I guess Blue breaking his collar-bone cheered Raye up because she was feeling better after that. That's my little sadist girl that I love! I don't really care the reason she was feeling better because now I can feel better and she's not bawling her eyes out. She felt so much better that she went out with friends and didn't get home until 3am. Why do I  know that? Did she wake me up with her key in the door? Maybe switching on a light switch? No. She woke me up via my cell phone saying "Mom, I'm reading to go home can you pick me up?" Yeah. Little Miss "I'm 17 and I make my own decisions and do what I want" needed a ride home from Mommy at 3am. 

Okay ~ off to class I go. Everyone have a great weekend!

Thursday? What to do for Thursday? Thursday (random) Thoughts?

I'm sitting here in the computer lab at school, at 9am, because my 9am class was canceled. Great. I don't find that out until I'm waiting outside the door for the professor and I see a "class is canceled" sign. My next class isn't until 10:30am. Wonderful. Great. Fabulous. I could have stayed in bed another hour!

Why do teenagers want nothing to do with you until they need a ride somewhere or spending money or need you to make them dinner? My daughter is 17. Recently she has started the "I'm 17, I'll do what I want" "I'm 17, I make my own appointments on my own time" "I'm 17, you can't tell me what to do anymore"?? I feel like telling her "Your 17, make your own dinner" "Your 17, go take a bus" "Your 17, you want money? Go get a job" "Your 17, rent is due, where is your portion?"

Why are the slooooooooooow, drivers always in front of me when I am late for class??

Why are the slooooooooow people always in front of me, in line at the store, when I'm late picking up my kids? Then why do they always say "oh, I forgot (fill in the blank)" and then run from the counter to go get whatever the hell they forgot, while I am standing there, running late, waiting for them to get back and pay for their shit so I can get out of there! I felt like just dropping the shit on the counter and walking out. Yes, I have done that before.

Why is it that teenagers in my day could walk 40 miles to & from school, in the rain, snow, sleet, wind; during a blizzard, thunderstorm and all uphill both ways but teenagers these days can't walk 1/2 mile to school in the bright sunshine??

Why does it seem like the entire cupboard full of dishes is always in the sink dirty when none of us have ate anything??

Why, everytime when I'm running late (always) and in a super-hurry; our dog takes FOREVER to pee?? He turns around 20 million times before lifting his leg. Really? I wanna yell at him: "Does it matter what leg you lift!!" "Why do you have to turn around and around and around and around??" Ahhhhhh!!

Why is it when I am trying to study for school, one of my cats always chooses to lay right on top of my textbook when they have the entire house and patio to lay around?? Why do they ALWAYS have to choose that spot?? Ahhhhhhh!!!! again.

66 minutes until class. Yippee - now what?

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday Tag-Along

I got this from: Twee Poppets. 
I'm going to add to this post when I have more time ~ I'm late for class!

Sibling Rivalry

I haven't written anything so far about my little-big brother Ken. Little cuz he's seven years younger. Big cuz he's 6foot4. We haven't spoken to each other in almost two years and its been very hard on our mom. Ken is a hard person to get along with, I love him but was very exhausting always having to watch what I said or did so that he wouldn't get mad and disown you for a week, month, two years. My parents permanently separated a few months ago. My mom kicked  my stepdad out and our family disowned him. Let's just say my ex-stepdad really messed up. So, my mom's been all "we're all we have" and "can't we just all get along" for months. I guess my brother realized how wrong and difficult of a person he can be because he started going to church and yesterday, he was baptized. Ken sent me an invitation through our Mom telling me he really wanted me to be there. After not speaking for two years. I tossed it around for days whether I should go or not and in the end, even though I had to be up at an insane hour on a Sunday morning, I went.

I have realized that I have written many times that I would finish a story later and I never have!! Welcome to the hectic, scatter-brained life of a college student/single mom. I will try to get better at that and I say this because I have to do it again. I have a meeting with Raye's dean at school about the little "fuck off principal" incident, so I have to get going.

Oh, btw...you can tell I'm a Vegas girl (I lived in Vegas for 20 years before moving back home a few years ago) I sat down on the pews at the church and there were papers and pencils in the back on the pew in front of me and big screen TV's on the walls and I grabbed the papers and said "Look! They have Keno!". If that wasn't bad enough, my mom made fun of me and said "the girls with the drinks will be coming by in a minute" and I'm all "Where??"

Sunday Stealing

Well, I don't know if I copied that right but if I did ~ the pic above is moving. I stole this from LIVINGDEADNURSE . I was seriously cracking up for 10 minutes but that's what I get for being up before 8am on a Sunday. I must be crazy! But, my dysfunctional family has plans this weekend so no days off for me. I just wanted to post this before I left so everyone else can laugh to. Or not. Maybe its only me who thinks its so funny? I'm not thinking too clearly right now. Its like 7am on Sunday! My brain is still asleep. I just wrote a paragraph about a moving picture. I really should go back to bed...

Just when I thought the DBD couldn't get any more DB...

Raye hasn't been feeling well lately so I made a doctor appointment for her yesterday, the only one they had available right smack in the middle of my clase de Espanol but hey, that's what we responsible parents do ~ take our children to the doctors when they are sick. Even if we have to miss work, school, life, whatever to do it. But hey ~ I'm getting off-topic and starting to go down a different rant-road. Anyway ~ we get there and they tell us they can't verify Raye's insurance. Well, that has to be a mistake because she's had insurance through her father (and I use that term VERY loosely) her whole life. So, I ask Raye to call DBD and ask him for the information needed and guess what? DBD tells her that he got FIRED last month and so she doesn't have insurance anymore! You would have thought he would have had the courtesy and the BALLS to call me, the MOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN, and tell me this before I have my sick child in the doctors office being told she no longer has any insurance coverage!! I think the word "livid" is an understatement to how I am feeling. Even Raye, the "Daddy's Girl" was pissed. So, what happened? She didn't get to see the doctor because I didn't have $320 (three hundred and twenty dollars!) for her visit and they don't accept my insurance and the COWARD refused to answer his phone when I called him after we left. So, I left a nice little "thanks for telling me that my children have no medical insurance before I took my sick daughter to the doctor and she couldn't be seen because her piece-of-shit father didn't have the courtesy to call and let her mother know he lost his job! Guess that means the barely-any child support is stopping too. Thanks for giving me the heads up. I guess I truly am on my own with the kids ~ guess you've finally lost everything now ~ you've hit rock bottom and you still don't think you have a problem. Its a good think my children have one parent who gives a shit". Unbelievable. Just when I thought DBD couldn't be any more of a deadbeat ~ he goes and proves me wrong.

Oh, and btw ~ I must have e.s.p. or something because I had DBD "neutered" 15 years ago after our youngest son was born. Best thing I ever did!!  

CLICK ON THE PIC BELOW AND GET SOME NEW FRIENDS! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!

I got a phone call from my daughter yesterday during English class. Its NEVER a good thing when my daughter CALLS me during class. Normally we text each other all day long while we are both at school (one of these days I'M going to get called to HER principals office for texting her in class!) but when she calls me ~ I know its NOT good news! So, I took my phone and sneaked out of class to see what she did this time. "Mom, I'm suspended". See ~ I told you it was never good...but wait for it..."...for telling the PRINCIPAL to fuck off". Yes ~ you heard me right. The last time she called me during class she was at the grocery store by her school and they needed me to leave class to pick her up because she was caught shoplifting. Its never boring with this girl. So, what kind of jail-time does telling the principal to "fuck off" get you? A two-day suspension. Honestly, I thought it would be longer. But, getting to miss two days of school for cussing at the principal seems like a vacation to me. I think two days of in-school detention would be more appropriate. When are schools going to realize that suspending kids is NOT punishing them? Make them sit in a classroom all day, with no talking and whatever else meanish rules you can set ~ I bet that will work! So...WHY did Raye tell her principal to fuck off? Thats a blog for later, I have to go to school. SOME of us are NOT suspended! Have a great day guys!!

Random Tuesday

Complain At Your Own Risk

Estimado asi y asi (dear so and so)

Estimado mi profesor de Espanol,

Creo tu permitas el estudiantes a conforman el prueba porque estuvieron ausentes pero no mi porque estudio el incorrecto materiala es mierda!!

firmado,
El pissed-off estudiante que no es  tomando te clase el próximo año.

(mi español es un mierda - yo se. Estoy un primer año)

Thankful Thursday

Well, I don't know what everyone in blogville blogs about on Thursdays so I am creating my very own: "Thankful Thursday". So, here's my story:

Out of my 9 loyal readers so far ~ who out there has fought or known someone who's fought Social Security and WON?? I thought something like that was an impossibility. A rumor. Myth. Old Wives Tale. An feat that could NEVER be done. Only I just did.  I still can't believe it and its been two weeks. Lil' ol' me. Its like a  "David and Goliath" story.

Okay, it wasn't exactly all me. I had help from a wonderful 25% costing attorney. It wasn't actually for me either. I was fighting for my son. Social Security took his benefits away FOUR YEARS AGO stating he was "cured"or some such nonsense. I hadn't exactly been living under a rock but when did they discover a CURE for autism? Yeah, that's what the Judge said too. The crappiest part of this story was that SS went all "your autism is cured so you don't get anymore benefits" at the EXACT month DBD and I went splitsville. Of course they did. The very bestest part of this story is that SS OWES my son and me FOUR YEARS of back payments - PLUS current payments. I honestly feel like our guardian angel has actually been paying attention this past year. Thats awesome since I was starting to think he'd/she'd went on permanent vacation.

I'm still kind of in shock. I really didn't think this could be done. I just figured all the steps in the fight were just for show. That they were just pretending to give you hope. Everything my kids have gone without for four years while DBD partied, gambled and drank away their child support. Every time we've just made do with what we had while DBD bought ATV's, a new motorcycle and took vacations. No more. No more worrying about Dakota's and Raye's college. Dakota can finally get the braces he's been waiting for for over 2 years because DBD wouldn't help me pay for them. Raye can get a car for her senior year. And since DBD and I are legally divorced; he can't touch it. But, if he finds out about it ~ he'll think of even more creative ways to be a DB; so I have to make sure he never knows by not telling anyone. But I HAVE to tell someone! So, I'm blogging about it. 

I know this blog might sound braggish but its not. Really its not. I'm just so grateful and appreciative and happy. I just needed to share the news with someone and I can't share it with anyone in my "real" life so I'm sharing it with you. Of course, we have to be patient and wait out the "process" and the "paperwork". Does anyone know how long that takes? 

Sunday Stealing: The 35 Questions X 2 Meme: Part Two
Okay ~ Yes, I know its not Sunday but what are you gonna do ~ arrest me? I'm just bored this morning, my morning class got canceled and I don't know what else to do. I figure answering these questions would tell a little more about who I am. I stole this from Did I Say That Outloud? I don't know where the first 35 questions are ~ ask her!

36. If you suddenly became single or are single, do you think you could last in a relationship for 12 months or more? Absolutely. I miss being married. I'm divorced because I had to be; not because I wanted to. Sometimes, when the person you are married to no longer exists; there is no other option but to leave.
37. Do you forgive or forget? Both. Depends on who you are and what you did.
38. Do you trust people? Depends on who you are and what you've done but trust is not something I give lightly. Its been broken too many times.
39. What are you not looking forward to? Taking the DBD (DeadBeatDad aka: my ex-husband) to court next month. Its hard to do that because he lives in another state and I have to travel to that state to take him to court and pay all the fees (airline ticket, motel, etc) that go along with that and he knows this and its why he isn't following the our Order because if he isn't paying child support then how can I AFFORD to take him court for not paying child support? Pretty brilliant on his part actually but how long am I suppose to let my kids go without?
40. Do you get mad easily? No.
41. Tell us about the last time you were told you that you have pretty eyes. Never since my divorce. The DBD used to sing "brown-eyed girl" to me.
42. Do you have strange dreams? All the time.
43. Ever licked someone's cheek or forehead? I suppose so but any memory of that is suppressed as a traumatic event.
44. Tell us about the last time you fell asleep in someones arms. I fell asleep holding my daughter a few months back.
45. When did you last play a game? What kind of game? Board game? Video game? head game?
46. What do you have on you at all times? My cell phone.
47. Do you go out in public without getting all dressed up? Yep.
48. Do you like fruity or minty gum? Mint. Green not blue.
49. Favourite musician or group? At what time? High school? Def Leppard. I was OBSESSED with them. I was going to move to England and marry all of them when I was 18. Now? I don't even have a single song of theirs on my Ipod. Nowadays I listen to Daughtry, Nickelback ~ that kind of stuff.
50. Do you like anyone? I like a lot of  people. I also dislike a lot of people. Do I have a crush or thing for anyone right now? No.
51. Favourite computer game? FarmTown on FaceBook. Last summer before school started I was on FB all day, every day tending my farm and working on other farms so I could make money to buy neat stuff but I've probably been on my farm twice since September. I'm just too busy.
52. First album you ever went and bought with your own money? Album? Wow, we're talking ancient times here! I can't remember if me or my Mom bought my Michael Jackson/Thriller album so I'll go with Def Leppare/Hysteria.
53. Think back five months ago, were you single? Yep.
54. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries? Absolutely! Unless its the anniversary of my birth ~ that one no!
55. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Probably my daughter. But that's only because she wants to remember to ask me to take her somewhere or buy something for her or bring her lunch...
 56. Last thing you bought? Red Vines Blackberry Merlot. Its the ONLY wine I drink. Its actually the only alcohol I drink and I don't drink much at all. Maybe some wine once every 4 months or so. It just so happens that that "once every 4 months or so" was last night.
57. Are you a jealous person? No.
58. Does it take a lot to make you cry? No. I can be very emotional. I found a blog the other day and was bawling for hours for this lady I never even met.
59. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yep. I've always had more guy friends than girl friends.
60. Have you ever had your heart-broken? Yes. Once.
61. Have you ever done something while drunk that you still cannot believe you did? Yep. Not that I regret it. The consequences to that is probably in her 2nd period class right now.
62. Is there anyone you secretly wish you could be spending your time with right now? Yes.
63. Do you text? Yep. In class, while driving, watching tv, showering...Okay, maybe not showering!
64. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now? No.. Because chances are it would be my daughter asking me to bring her lunch.
65. Is your life anything like it was a year ago? No. Its MUCH better.
66. Go back one year on your blog. Leave us a link to your favorite post. I've only been blogging for a couple weeks!
67. You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life, what is it? Diet Pepsi.
68. Tell us about someone that you have lost contact with someone you wish you didn't. The DBD. I know ~ he's a deadbeat but I am more talking about the person he used to be. Before he came back from Iraq all screwed up in the head. I miss the guy who went over ~ not the one who came back.
69. What is the last thing you said out loud? "Love you and have a good day", when I dropped my kids off at school, a whole .5 miles away from our house because their legs are broken and they can't walk.
70. Will this year be better than last? I truly hope so.

Change Of Plans

Okay, so its Monday and I was going to tell the first of my eleven stories about my ex's-ex, today and each following Monday ~ something like a "Marriage Monday"; copying off of "Music Monday". HOWEVER, I, like always, got sidetracked. Something that comes easy to me. I'm quite gifted like that. I was reading one of the blogs I am following and found some new blogs via them and so on and so on ... and then I found this one: lipstickandlaundry ~ and I have been BAWLING MY EYES OUT for the past hour. 

She writes about her precious little boy, William. He died when he was 17 days old from Trisomy 18. She has pictures on her blog and a link to a website she has created in his memory at Williams Website at Continulife.com which led me to create my own site ~ for my brother. So, while I logged on today with every intention of telling some hilarious story about my life with my ex's-ex ~ I'm all sad like now and not in a funny story-telling mood. Since the website I created for my brother won't be available to edit until tomorrow; I'm going to write a little about my brother here.

My little brother, Timothy, was born when I was 16 and for the next 22 months, spending time with him, was the best part of my day. I wore his picture, in a charm-frame around my neck, ALWAYS, and he loved playing with his picture and telling everyone that it was him in the picture. Hanging out with Timothy ranked over being with my friends. He was the most important person in my world and my heart broke in a million pieces the day he died.

I had just turned 18 years old and if I had stayed in school, in stead of getting my GED, May 21st, 1990 would have been my graduation day. One of the best days in a persons life. Instead, May 21st, 1990 will forever be the worst day of my life.  I will always, always wonder and feel guity about how it might have been different if I had graduated. How, if my graduation was that day, Timothy might not have been put down for a nap. We might have been with him when he had his seizure. That if I had graduated; Timothy might be with us today. That is a very hard and heavy burden for me to bear and I have been carrying it for 20 years. 

Timothy was born with epilepsy and cerebral palsy. He took medications for seizure and had just been taken off the apnea monitor he wore while sleeping since he was a newborn (had he not been  taken off the monitor; he might be with us today as well). I was at work when I found out that something was wrong with Timothy. I ran out of work and half way home in tears. Scared. Not knowing what was happening. ~ I was remembering the day, a year prior, when Timothy seized in his car-seat, coincidentally, on the way to the hospital where his pediatrician had admitted him. I was in the backseat with him and my Mother was driving but had stopped for gas. Timothy ended up on the gas station cement, having CPR administered to him by the gas station attendant and me screaming on the phone to 911 ~ halfway home an ambulance passed me with its lights and sirens on. I stopped and just watched it go past. I just knew my little brother was inside of it. I couldn't move. I just stood there. My parents were following the ambulance but I didn't even notice when they pulled up to the curb to pick me up.

My dad  had gone to check on Timothy while he was napping and he found him not breathing. He was still not breathing when the paramedics left for the hospital with him. They said he'd had a seizure in his sleep. They couldn't save him at the hospital. It was too late even when my dad found him. He was just gone. My life had just been taken from me. My whole reason for living. They let my parents and I stay with Timothy in a room. I got to hold him one last time. Run my fingers through his hair. Kiss his face. Begging him to wake up. I remember refusing to let go of him when my Mother was trying to take him back. The nurse cut a lock of his hair for each of us. We buried Timothy next to his and my older brother, Christopher. Timothy was the second child my Mother lost. I can't imagine a pain worse than that and my Mother went through it twice. She is still going through it. Every day. And so am I. My son's middle name is Timothy. I so fortunate and grateful to have had that wonderful little boy in my life and I cherish the time we had with him and the memories we all share.

We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause...

For those of you (I have nine "those of you" yay!) who are wondering why my template, colors, pictures, title, etc...are change with every visit ~ please have patience my blog is brand new and I am still experimenting. Of course, you could also run on over to My Kids Might Be Martians blog and blame her. It was her (awesome & hilarious) blog that sucked me into Blog-World!

I'm actually having a huge crisis over my current template ~ my favorite color is green but blue matches my title picture better! What do I do?? Oh, the dilemma!

ELEVEN

So, I've decided that the 17-1/2 years worth of unbelievable, embarrassing, pathetic and hilarious stories I want to share that involve my ex's-ex and my ex's-mother are waaaaaaaaaaaay too long for a single blog post. Of course they are too long. Its 17 years worth! What was I thinking? So, I have decided to tell them in installments. I was thinking that since my ex's-ex is on her ELEVENTH hubby ~ (hereafter referred to as h11 and yes. I said ELEVEN. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,ELEVEN - in 17 years. And no. NONE of the hubby's were my hubby) ~ that I'd separate each story by marriage/hubby. Probably by color too - just to make it fun! In order to tell the wedding dress story; I'd have to jump to hubby #5 (hereafter referred to as h5) so I have decided that I will write about that when I get to the 5th installment. In the meantime, I'll get to work on installment #1 unless my memory fails me - I am OLD after all! Okay, maybe not so much but hubby #1 (hereafter referred to as h1) was a long time ago!

Here Comes The Bride...

Okay ~ they say 3 times is the charm right? This is my 3rd time trying to post this story so here we go ~ TAKE 3...

The following post is a comment I left on Mejis' blog in response to her latest post. Just to bring everyone up to speed and give a preview of my next blog entry:

The ~ I-Just-Got-Married-For-The-FIFTH-Time-But-Instead-Of-Celebrating-With-My-FIFTH-Husband-I-First-Need-To-Swing-By-My-ExBoyfriend/OldestSonsDad/ExBoyfriend'sWife's-House-So-I-Can-Show-Off-My-Wedding-Dress-At-Midnight ~ Story.

"Well now I'm really confused! Let me see if I can get this straight: My man's ex, Mejis' man's ex and Wikked Wit's man's ex (did I get that all right?) are really the SAME person? Well, that would explain a lot actually ~ like the freaky mood swings, compulsive lying, obsession with my role in my man's life, obsession with my in-law's and need to be "liked" better than me by them, "show-offishness" (from the Taaurus dictionary: you know ~ the going out of their way to make sure you know what they're doing, what they bought, what they have even though you could really GIVE A SHIT). It must be very tiring trying to make sure all 3 of us knows everything about her! Hey ~ has your guys' guy's ex been married ELEVEN times too? Or how about shown up at your door, at midnight, the night of her 5th wedding, in her wedding dress, proceeded to start a verbal (almost physical but her and her wedding dress yelled their way back to her car and my man held me back)fight, in front of her son/my stepson and then drive off with her wedding dress dragging on the ground because she shut the car door on it? Sound hilarious? IT WAS. I think that will be my next story and boy do I have a million of them!"

April 10, 2010 2:58 AM

Dear So and So ... tired, pissed off, broke, tired

Dear upstairs, disrespectful neighbors from hell,

Please STOP letting YOUR toddler run, jump, stomp all over the house at 8AM on a SATURDAY/SUNDAY MORNING! Please STOP letting YOUR toddler throw and bounce his toys over and over on the kitchen floor. MY kids and I have to get up at 6:30am M-F and we'd like to sleep in on the weekends instead of being woken up by YOUR kid.

Signed, Your downstairs, sleep-deprived neighbors

Dear Gateway Computers,

I am really enjoying my brand-new computer that I waited forever for/saved up for ~ that refuses to acknowledge my wireless signal, forcing me to be attached to an Ethernet cord AND a USB cord attached to my new, WIRELESS printer that I bought because I didn't want to be attached to a printer. Finally, thank you for forcing me to be attached to a power out-let because the battery refuses to lock and if the computer isn't plugged in to a power source; it turns off.

Signed,

Should have bought a Dell

Dear Deadbeat Dad,

You haven't voluntarily sent a dime for your children's support in over THREE years. I guess your think they haven't needed anything? Thats a good thing! If they had really needed something it would have really interfered with your gambling & drinking money!

Signed,

Your childrens (remember them?) Mother

Dear Felicity,

You are so adorable and I love you to death but can you please stop putting your nose on my nose, staring at my face and purring loud enough for the neighbors to hear, while I'm asleep? Could you also stop patting your paw on my face for attention in the middle of the night? I know you miss your Mommy but she visits you often and I promise, if you stop batting my face in the middle of the night, I will pet you and give you treats in the morning!

Love,

Auntie/Foster Mommy

I think I'm going to be sick...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhwXPsTaRgc

FYI

I am extremely indecisive, constantly medicated for anxiety and I'm probably a little (or a lot!) ADD ~ so ~ if your wondering why my page, layout, title, keep changing, well, now you know why! Have a great day ~ I'm off to school yay!

Why you should LISTEN to the 10 hours of warnings cited in Ambien commericials

Okay, so todays My Kids Might Be Martians post reminded me of a story. An AMBIEN story. You know ~ that little, tiny, harmless pill that doctors gleefully prescribe to their sleep-deprived, insomniac patients. Like me. This happened 4 years ago and I was asleep so I have no memory of the nights events so the following story is all hearsay from my children and my aunt who ended up babysitting me half the night before calling my husband to the rescue. So, according to all of them; the story goes something like this:

My children and I were visiting my aunt Jill and I had forgotten my insomnia medicine at home so she gave me one of hers. Just one ~ an itty-bitty Ambien. I usually take mine about an hour before I actually go to bed so I did the same here. I swallowed it a mili-second before she yelled at me "don't take it until your in bed!". No worries I told her. It takes a while to kick in. How the hell did I know that? I've never taken it before. But surely it works just like mine right? Right? Well, telling her that is my very last memory of the night. I woke up the next morning, fully rested, in my own bed. At my own house. How the hell did I get there!? Did I drive here? The commercial warns about all these scary things that can happend to people who take Ambien: driving, cooking, sleepwalking, etc. So I'm freaking out. Where is everybody? Where are my kids? Did I drive with my kids? Where is my car? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? My husband wasn't there. My daughter wasn't there. Jill wasn't there but I found Dakota asleep in his own bed. Did I drive home with him in the car?! He was at Jill's house with me. Why did she let me drive home?! With Dakota in the car?!?! All this shit is running through my head. A second ago I was at Jill's house with my kids ~ I pop an Ambien and BAM ~ its 12 hours later and I'm 20 miles away at my own house! Anyway, Dakota wakes up and tells me his version of the night: "Mom! You wouldn't go to sleep! You kept yelling at us that there were homeless kids on the porch and you needed to feed them and you started cooking top ramen! There were no kids on the porch Mom!" What? Homeless kids? Top ramen? WTF?!?! How did we get home? "Aunt Jill had to call dad to come get you because you kept cooking more packages of top ramen and Raye tried to get you to bed and you broke her nose!" OMG! Where's my daughter? "She stayed at Aunt Jill's Mom! Don't you remember anything?!" I have to say my son was PISSED! "You wouldn't go to bed! We tried to put you to bed for FIVE HOURS!" FIVE HOURS?! Where's dad? Where's Jordan? "idk". Is Raye okay? "idk".

Well, 4 years later and I still remember NOTHING. Needless to say, I have NEVER, EVER taken another Ambien EVER again! I am soooooo thankful that I was babysat by someone. To this day I am scared to death of what might have happened if I had been by myself and I have never, ever take warnings of possible side-effects, of any medication I take lightly again. In my opinion, even though only a percentage of patients precribed Ambien have these kinds of side-effects, I think Ambien should be pulled off the market. This was fucking SCARY! My children did not understand that I was ASLEEP. My daughter didn't come home for two days. She told me I kicked her in the nose when she was trying to get me into bed! Dakota can still remember the exact date this happened ~ he is traumatized for life! I think I am too!